I have started a new painting series, that is taking me way longer then anticipated. I am attempting to paint the photo above. I have started and it's going fine. My issue is there is not enough time in a day, to achieve all I would like to do.

Throughout my life I have had to find a way to stop and process. I don't know if you have actually tried to live "in" the moment, but it isn't easy. There is so much happening at once and it takes "time" to recognize, assimilate and process. Most people do this subconsciously and when asleep. I have been trying my best, throughout my life, to be conscious and process life, in the moment. I also find engagement with others needs a lot more time. And 99% of people do not care to engage; meaning they have their own agenda and I'm either serving their agenda or not and they are doing what ever it takes to get their needs met. I have noticed if I lag, (I mean serving others and not speaking my truth), I have issues, in any number of ways. Could be mentally, emotionally, physically or spiritually and sometimes all. If an experience is challenging I need more "time", which is a speed bump, in itself.

For instance; It's hard to find "time" to have a website, let alone a blog! Here's the thing though it helps me slow down and process, which of coarse is cathartic, enabling assimilation. The ironies are awesome! And most of the 'time' funny, enabling more integration and acceptance. I start my day by giving thanks. And then ask for patience, to fill me with grace. I pray I walk in reverence, in honor, respecting all life. And I must say I am challenged, at every turn. Did I just ask, to be challenged? Is my prayer enabling situations by which I can learn better behavior? I have a feeling the answer is yes. I shall press on though.

Back to the actual issue! TIME; does it exist? Is it a wave? If an idea is a wave, then I bet "time" is similar. I say this because I have experienced time bend, change and not exist. In other words I have had experiences where "time" didn't happen. Which leads me to question the wave. I think a lot of people can ride the same wave and depending on your "will" effect "time" differently.

Can "Time" crash into itself? If I can crash and burn do I experience time going down with me? Questions that are answered differently in each of us. And here's my biggest rub "Pain". Is pain my own way of slowing down? Is pain "growing pains"? Am I expanding my consciousness too fast, for my body, to keep up? Questions I ask myself. "Bear" is coming along, slowly, but surely and the "Wolf" calls...